Even Half a Chance
by GryphonDown
Summary: 10yrs ago Akatsuki obtained all the biju. 5yrs ago they started wars among the shinobi nations. Last year the Sand fell. Fire is about to fall. 15yrs ago Uzumaki Naruto began his career as a ninja.
1. The present future: situation

**A/N** Alright, this is the first fic that I've been motivated enough to put up for the world to see. If you like it, let me know, if you hate it, sorry-read something else. I'm not sure at this point how often I'll be updating, so we'll see how it goes. These first few chapters are going to be pretty angsty, but it ought to get better. …Unless, of course, it gets worse. In which case I lied. On with the show! Err, I mean story. Yeah. 

"talking"

'thinking'

_flashbacks or reading_

(author's interjections) –I will _try _to avoid this too much

If I use anything else, you can just guess

**Disclaimer:** I'm looking in a mirror, and I'm not seeing a Japanese man named Kishimoto, so I must not own Naruto after all.

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Even Half a chance

27-year-old Uzumaki Naruto is in trouble.

10 years ago, the Akatsuki obtained the last biju, the Kyuubi.

5 years ago, the organization began starting wars among the smaller countries.

As of 2 years ago, many smaller nations had had fallen, and Akatsuki controlled the shinobi industry in Iwa and Kiri. Kumo accepted Akatsuki control soon after.

Last year, the Leaf had accepted a flood of refugees from the Sand. A few months after this, Temari and Kankuro had arrived supporting Gaara between them and with only 20 shinobi of the Sand's force remaining.

5 months ago, the Akatsuki came to Fire Country. Despite everything, they weren't ready for the assault. Not ready for Deidara's bombs, or Kisame's blade, Itachi's eyes or Zetsu's cannibalism. Konoha was ready to fall.

'My precious people, I've lost so many of them. What kind of Hokage am I?'

The Rokudaime looked up to take in his surroundings. Hatake Kakashi lay in a hospital bed unconscious from overuse of the Sharingan. Nara Shikamaru, covered in bandages, lay in the other bed feigning sleep. These were two of the most intelligent ninjas that Naruto knew, and they still came back hospitalized. Without the rest of their team.

'How can I protect them from this?'

So few of his old comrades were left. So many had gone before they deserved to. Sakura, having been there at Gaara's resurrection, and having had Chiyo's technique used on her, had recreated Chiyo's resurrection technique and brought Naruto back after the kyuubi's extraction. He had woken up to Sakura's form slumped over him, and Sasuke standing over them, silently crying at having lost the only people who really believed in him. O great irony, the Hokage's apprentice gave her life for the village idiot, and the Uchiha Avenger gained the Mangekyo Sharingan, only to find that he would gladly trade it back. He still hit Naruto over the had for scaring the crap out of him when he came back to life all of a sudden though.

'Why?'

Neji, following in his father's footsteps, defied his lowly fate and sacrificed himself in defense of his family-the cousins and uncle that he scorned so harshly as a child. The Hyuuga complex had been caught in one of the many explosions caused by Deidara and his 'art'. Tenten and Lee retrieved him from the rubble of Deidara's playground. Tenten is now the only sane, non spandex-wearing member of Team Gai. Although, drowning one's grief in ANBU assassination missions is hardly good for one's mental health.

'Why this?'

None of Kurenai's team 8 still lived to fight. Shino and many of his clansmen were lost to Zetsu of the Akatsuki, when he simply appeared in the middle of their home. Kiba flew into a blind rage at this and on his next mission, when Tobi made an appearance, Kiba attacked blindly. Tobi, despite being the idiot of the Akatsuki, was still a formidable foe. Back-up was sent in time to save Kiba's life, but Akamaru was too far gone. Kiba was distraught at failing to protect his dog. He committed seppuku, not being able to stand having done such a thing to his precious companion. Hinata and Kurenai, though still alive and well, no longer took missions. Hinata devoted all of her time to the hospital, working to save people. Her gentle manner and powerful eyes made her an excellent and preferred medic. Kurenai herself fell into depression after the losses of Shino and Kiba on top of her previous loss of her lover Sarutobi Asuma. Her mind, her one great weapon, could no longer employ the powerful genjutsu that she was known to weave. She was pulled from the roster of active jounins in fear that she would be unable to fight. Added to this, her one consolation of her time with Asuma, her 12 year old son, was a high level chunin where in peacetime he would only have just graduated from the academy.

'Why did this happen?'

The Ino-Shika-Cho formation was still intact, the only group of the Konoha 12 to remain so. Ino was a part of old Ibiki's torture and interrogation squad, also serving occasionally as a field medic. She was adept at both. Chouji was as well as could be expected. He was a brawler, and as such, saw a lot of death on the field. Shikamaru was one of Naruto's top 'strategy people' His ability to predict and out maneuver the enemies' tactics made him invaluable. Of course, after a disaster like this last mission had become, it would take a week or so of healing and Temari's bullying before Shikamaru would be ready for service again. Shikamaru still had trouble coping with leading his comrades to their deaths.

'Why did any of this happen?'

The Sand Siblings had been torn apart as well. Gaara, though surviving the escape from Sand, seemed broken. His chakra was low, not replenishing itself, and many days he would simply not wake up. Kankuro had, upon arrival in Konoha, given Gaara to the medic-nins and ordered his forces back toward Sand. Temari had refused to follow his plan of guerrilla warfare and stayed with Gaara. Kankuro had not been heard from again. Temari could only be found in three places most times. In battle or training-venting her rage and grief, in Gaara's hospital room-mourning the fate of the Sand and her little brothers, or wherever Shikamaru was-drawing and giving support as needed. An entire shinobi nation torn down to one active kunoichi and her unconscious leader/little brother.

"N-Naruto-kun?"

A quick turn toward the door of the room revealed Hyuuga Hinata.

"Yeah Hinata-chan?"

"Are you alright, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto stared at her for a moment. "Sure, I'm fine Hinata-chan! There's nothin' I can't handle, believe it!" A pause. "Why do you ask?"

Ever predictable (to anyone but Naruto) Hinata went from worry, to a soft smile, to blushing, and then fidgeting.

"Oh, um… you just seem tired is all, Naruto-kun." She mentally continued with, 'and sad. Naruto-kun, I wish you didn't feel that you had to hold all of that sadness in. It helps… to share your pain.'

"Ah, well there's always something else to do, so I probably don't sleep enough, but really, I'm fine! You worry about everybody enough without worrying about me too!"

"I'm very sorry Naruto-kun, but visiting hours are over and Kakashi-sensei isn't going to wake up soon, so you should go home. It's late and you really should get some sleep." 'But I know that you'll keep holding it in, because even though you're not a failure anymore, you're still a proud man.'

"Ehh?" Naruto glanced out the window. "Its dark out?! You're right Hinata-chan its really late! Thanks for coming to get me, I'd of just sat in this chair all night!" Naruto hopped out of the chair and gave Hinata one of his huge fox grins. "G'night Hinata-chan" He then passed her and disappeared down the hall. Hinata watched him go.

'Naruto-kun you wear such a brave face… but I've been able to see through that mask for years.'

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After leaving the hospital, Naruto made his way to the Hokage tower. 'Hinata-chan's nice and all, but I can't afford to sleep. I need to end this.' He strode into his office and sat at his desk.

'Alright. The attacking force consists of Deidara, Zetsu, Itachi and Kisame. We took out Tobi already, but the longer this goes on, the more likely that he'll be replaced. All of our civilians have been evacuated, and our supply lines will dry up soon. It has to be now.' He stared angrily at the wall as if it was Kisame sneering at his weakness. 'But what can I do? I've tried everything already. What more is there? How am I supposed to beat four super-powered S-rank criminals with advanced bloodlines and scores of kinjutsu?'

"Kinjutsu!" Adjacent to Naruto's office was the Hokage's private study. Not a place that Naruto himself spent much time in. The previous Hokages had amassed a large collection of technique and informational scrolls in this room, including summoning scrolls, and various ninjutsu and genjutsu. The Third in particular, had practically collected scrolls of ninjustsu, and a lot of them were classified as kinjutsu, being highly dangerous. The problem with kinjutsu was that they were classified as such because they were highly immoral, or because they were dangerous to the user as well as the intended target.

'There's gotta be something in this place I can use!'

He found a scroll on the theory of the chakra gates that Gai and Lee use, several scrolls that must have been saved from the ruins of Orochimaru's lair (which were really interesting if you forgot the part where you're messing with dead peoples' bodies and souls), several summoning scrolls-including old man Sandaime's monkey summoning scroll, several A-class wind techniques-which he picked up, and the Scroll of Sealing that he had gotten the Kage Bunshin techinique from as a child. He grabbed this too. After all, he only ever learned one technique from it. He also picked up some scrolls dealing with the common battle tactics of Mist and Stone.

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Dawn found him sprawled on the floor, surrounded by open scrolls and several empty ramen cups.

"Hey Naruto!"

"Naruto where are you?"

Naruto groaned. 'I don't want to get up Iruka-sensei!"

The dark haired man poked his head in the library, wondering why Naruto was actually in the library.

"Baka! I'm not Iruka-sensei you moron! How'd you get to be Hokage if you can't even tell people apart? They should have given me the job after all!"

Apparently it was time for Naruto to open his eyes. "…Konohamaru? What are you doing in here? And why are you so loud?"

Konohamaru snorted and came to stand in front of Naruto. Naruto decided that if he was going to be awake, he might as well start getting up. Konohamaru watched his progress. It was almost saddening to think that this sleepy-eyed blond was the Leaf's greatest ninja.

"You're not much of a morning person, are ya Boss?" he asked, reverting to the name he used for Naruto when they were young. "You do know you were supposed to lead a jounin meeting at 9:00, right?" He watched panic cross Naruto's face before he continued with, "But I wouldn't worry about it too much now, 'cause it's already 11:00."

With this wonderful reminder that he was, in fact, the Hokage of Konoha, and that he had responsibilities as such, Naruto's brain finally kicked in and remembered why he was asleep on the floor of his private study in the first place.

"Hey Konohamaru! Could you do something for me?"

"Yeah, I suppose I could, What'cha need me to do?"

Naruto jumped over to his desk and started writing. "I need you to find all of these people and tell them to come to my office A.S.A.P." He handed the paper to Konohamaru "It's urgent. If they ask why, just tell them I'll explain when they get here. Come back when you're done, you're in on this too. Got it?"

Konohamaru looked up from the list. "Got it Boss!" he poofed into a cloud of smoke. Two seconds later, he could be found running across the rooftops to his first stop, list in hand.

Naruto, leaning back in his chair, was still thinking. 'I really should go and do damage control on that meeting I missed. And maybe go to the hospital and try to boost morale a bit.' A course of action decided, he locked up his study, left a note on his door, and went to meet his doom at the meeting hall.

Half an hour later:

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" Maito Gai and Rock Lee smashed yet another door upon their arrival in Naruto's office. Only to find …nothing. Hadn't Naruto called them there? This required investigation. Perhaps their brave, youthful Hokage had been kidnapped! Again? But no, there were no signs of a struggle. Wait, yes there were! The door had been kicked in!

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"WHAT IS IT, LEE?"

"NARUTO-KUN'S DOOR HAS BEEN KICKED IN! OUR MOST YOUTHFUL HOKAGE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!"

"WELL THEN MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT, IT IS OUR DUTY AS NINJAS OF THE LEAF TO SAVE HIM! LET US FIRST SEARCH THE CRIME SCENE FOR CLUES TO THE KIDNAPPER'S IDENTITY!"

Both beautiful beasts began searching (searching, ransacking, tearing apart, what's the difference) Naruto's office until Lee thought to check the remains of the door. Maybe they could find a scrap of fabric or blood to get the kidnapper's scent! Of course he would have to recruit someone else to make use of this information, but he would worry about that later

"GAI-SENSEI I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING!"

"YOSH! THAT IS MOST EXCELLENT LEE! THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH SHINES BRIGHTLY IN YOU!" (cue the 'good guy pose') "WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE FOUND?!"

"I BELIEVE IT IS A RANSOM NOTE GAI-SENSEI!"

Lee held out the 'ransom note' and they read it.

When Tenten came in 15 minutes later, they still had not recovered from their facefaults. She stared at them curiously, and noticed the paper in Lee's hand.

"Gone out for a bit, be back soon. Lord Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto" there was a crude drawing of Naruto in hokage attire giving a victory sign.

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**more A/N**-Please don't send me flames for killing your favorite character. Its kind of late for that and it won't do you or them any good. Other than that, whatever you want to say is fine. 


	2. the present future ptII: planning

**A/N:** I bring you my second installment of Even Half a Chance. I also went back and tweaked the first chapter a bit. Nothing major though. This chapter's a lot more humorous. I just couldn't bring myself to be serious, and it serves as a sort of 'calm before the storm' kind of thing. Enjoy!

"talking"

'thinking'

my interjections are no longer labeled

**Disclaimer** I prayed a whole bunch last night, and looked in the mirror again, but I was still a 19yr old Caucasian female. Not Kishimoto.

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Even Half a Chance

Chapter II

Naruto was in a good mood today. Sure he had missed an important jounin meeting and been rudely awakened on the floor of his study, but he had learned some new jutsu (at least how they were supposed to be done) and had figured out a way to avoid punishment for missing said meeting-send a Shadow Clone to take the blame!

This plan may have worked. Unfortunately, Naruto's brain had forgotten to remind him of three details. First, if Naruto never showed up for the meeting, everyone would mill around for a while until his advisor took the floor in his place. Secondly, this situation always made said advisor very angry. And of course Tsunade plus angry equals Naruto in pain.

Naruto of course wasn't very good at math, but if he had remembered these details, he could also have told you that Tsunade plus angry where Naruto equals Shadow Clone actually equals Tsunade plus angry-squared, which comes to Naruto in lots of pain, but later and after a long, involved chase scene. This is all hypothetical though, because Naruto did not remember any of this and was more concerned with visiting a few patients in the hospital. Which is where he is now.

Naruto has a routine for hospital visits. Upon entry, he asks about the health of the ninjas that he knows personally and/or feels really guilty for landing in the hospital. If they are awake, he visits them. He wanders the halls for a while, comforting anyone who seems to need it, and before leaving, he always visits Gaara.

This visit began well. He'd gotten two people to stop crying, and had spoken to Kotetsu and Izumo for a bit. They had been on escorting a group of merchants to Konoha. Kisame had toyed with them awhile before allowing the merchants passage. Kotetsu had come back with a broken arm, and both he and Izumo had some nasty gashes, but they were mostly tired. Apparently, Kisame had just been bored. Now though, Naruto found himself in Kakashi and Shikamaru's room again. He needed to talk with his tactical genius. Regrettably, the genius had gone on vacation, leaving moping, brooding Shikamaru in charge. Temari had long ago dubbed this persona 'Crybaby' and sadly enough, the name seemed to fit.

The question at hand is: how to get a call through to the 'Genius' to tell him to come home?

"Oi, Shikamaru."

"…"

"I know you're awake Shikamaru, I'm not that stupid. You might as well listen, the sooner this talk starts the sooner I leave you alone again."

The answer is: Appeal to Logic.

"…Troublesome. What do you want? You never bother me this soon. You wait another three days and sic that woman on me."

Maybe not. It seems that it didn't quite get through. Try again!

"You're right I don't normally, but I need to talk to you about something. …Although if you want to see Temari that badly, she's probably with Gaara right now. I can send her in here when I visit him later if you like.

"No, that's not necessary. What do you want to talk about, anyway?"

Oh duh. He's a Nara-threaten him with a scary, troublesome woman!

"I need you to help me fine-tune a plan. Those Akatsuki assholes are gettin' to be a pain."

"You made a plan, huh? They must really be annoying you." With some difficulty, Shikamaru sat up, getting into his thinking pose. "You'd better sit down and tell me what you had in mind. This is going to be awhile."

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Meanwhile in Naruto's office:

Tenten had gotten a chuunin to come and replace the office door, and Gai and Lee had recovered their composure (but not their dignity). It had been an hour since Naruto sent out his summons. His _urgent_ summons. He still wasn't here. Worse, Sai was.

He and Tenzo(still known to some, namely Naruto, as Yamato) had come in as the chuunin repairman left. Incidentally, they should pay that guy a lot. With as many windows Tsunade went through and as many doors Lee and Gai go through there's a lot of work for him to do. Not to mention all of the furniture that Tsunade destroyed in the process of breaking said windows. Anyway, Sai never did get the hang of social etiquette, nor did he give up on nicknames. Picture it: Sai, insulter of all living things; and both Gai and Lee at once. And of course, 'Fuzzy-brows' is not near creative enough for Sai. Tenzo and Tenten shared an exasperated look before sighing and trying to get their respective teammates to just 'Shut up!'. Inuzuka Hana, walking in the door, was greeted by Gai and Lee-hugging with a sunset and waves backdrop, Tenzo holding his head and muttering unintelligibly, and Sai and Tenten-Sai having moved on to insulting Tenten when Lee became …distracted. Tenten was now brandishing several kunai. Hana and her three dogs sweatdropped.

Hana, one of the only rational Inuzuka of the entire line, decided that it was in the best interest of her sanity not to question the chaos in front of her. But still…

"Where is Naruto-kun?" How unfortunate. Now she's gone and called attention to herself. Tenten and Sai stopped arguing, and Gai and Lee broke up their latest 'rant of YOUTH' to see who else had shown up. They took in the three dogs standing around her, her tight clothes and half-zipped flak jacket, and the red fang-like triangles on her face. Tenten, Lee and Gai immediately recognized the standard Inuzuka traits. And Sai… well he does have an excuse, being completely isolated until he was 15, and being an antisocial bastard after that. Tenzo's muttering became more pronounced and seemed to be about "not being paid enough."(I think he knows what's coming)

Apparently Hana was a much more interesting target than Tenten, because Sai turned toward her, and spoke with the weight of someone telling a sad truth.

"You know, dressed like that and hanging around those mutts, it wouldn't be surprising at all if someone mistook you for some-" Sai was cut off here, as it's difficult to speak while someone is tackling you. It is common knowledge that it is wise not to call an Akimichi 'fat'. The same principle applies to implying that an Inuzuka is 'loose' and particularly to calling them bitches. Tenzo had pulled out of his muttering and despite there being more efficient ways to silence Sai, had gone at him in a flying tackle. Team Gai watched Hana warily; she seemed to be in shock.

She shook it off and glared at Sai. "The Haimaru triplets are not mutts."

And to think-there are people who haven't shown up yet.

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"That should increase your chances somewhat. It would have been better if we had more information, but if you're determined to do it now, then I guess it can't be helped."

Naruto was about to retort, but was at that moment reminded of a very painful math problem-the reminder being in the form of a rush of information ending with a livid Tsunade and a fist in the face. 'Oh crap.'

"Nah, you were lots of help, Shikamaru. Even if you are just lying in bed. Well, I gotta go see (run from) Tsunade-baachan about something, so I'll leave you alone now." This said, he walked calmly out of the room and out of the hospital, before running for his life for the Hokage tower.

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He entered his office in considerably worse condition. He sported several large bumps on his head, and appeared to be missing a few teeth. Tsunade had been waiting for him at the tower. He had immediately turned around and run all over Konoha, but she had found him in the end. Maybe he shouldn't have tried to hide at Ichiraku Ramen.

He sat down at his desk and dropped his head against it. His day wasn't going quite as well as he had planned. It was then that he noticed the waves of murderous intent directed at him. 'Damn what now, assassins?'

He picked his head up to see Gai, Lee, Tenten, Chouji, Gaara, Temari, Hana, Hana's dogs, Tenzo, and Sai. Glaring at him. 'Okay Naruto, it's just nine elite jounin who want to murder you for being… two hours late. Just ignore it and pretend you have control of the situation.'

He looked everyone over and paused dramatically before asking, "Gaara what are you doing here? You weren't actually asked to come you know. And aren't you supposed to be in a coma?"

"I will be a part of this. And obviously not, if I'm standing here."

"Hey dickless, what took you so long anyway?"

_Twitch._ "None of your business Sai." 'I'm Hokage damnit! Show some respect! OK breathe, don't let him get to you, its just Sai.' "It's actually really good that you showed up Gaara, we could use the help. So has anyone seen-"

Uchiha Sasuke just walked in the door. He looked around and made note of the people glaring at Naruto. "Good, I didn't miss anything." He then propped himself against a wall and looked at Naruto expectantly.

"Never mind. He's here."

Gai couldn't take it anymore. "DAMNIT KAKASHI! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU HAVE CORRUPTED YOUR STUDENTS WITH YOUR ETERNAL TARDINESS AND YOUR LAID BACK ATTITUDE!"

Everyone stared at Gai. Then Lee. And back at Gai. 'Kakashi corrupted _his_ students?'

Naruto sighed. "If we can be serious for a moment, I'd like to get started."

Everyone instantly sobered up and put on their 'I kill people for a living' faces.

"Thank you."

"I'm sure you're all aware of the situation, correct?" No dissent. "Good. In short, we're making a stand." Here Naruto scanned everyone's faces. He was met with various forms of excitement, determination, nervousness, and boredom. And one form of creepy sadistic glee.

"When you get down to it, the attacking force consists of four ninjas. We're hoping that the main force will back down if we take out the leaders. If not, they'll at least be disorganized enough for us to drive them out of Fire Country. Our targets are Uchiha Itachi, Hoshigaki Kisame, Deidara, and Zetsu. We need to take them out, and we can't afford to wait anymore. Everyday, we lose ninjas, and they have more opportunity to get backup. All of you have fought Akatsuki before. We will split into teams. Two or three of us for each target, all of the teams attacking at the same time."

"Hana and Tenzo. Your target is Zetsu. We don't know a lot about him so be careful. Here's everything we do have on him." He handed Tenzo a folder. "He's from grass so he deals with plants, so be careful using your mokuton. And he relies heavily on stealth, so Hana, your tracking abilities should be helpful. He should be easy to catch alone, he tends to isolate himself from the others."

"Gaara, are you sure you're up for this?"

"Do not doubt me Uzumaki Naruto."

"…Right. Fine, you, Temari, and Sai will take Deidara. You've fought him before, so you know what tricks he might use. He still relies mostly on his exploding clay. If you can get him by himself, you'd have a better chance of success. You can brief Sai when we're done here."

"Why am I stuck with the Sand Freaks?"

"If Deidara takes to the sky, you need to be able to go after him. You, Temari and Gaara all have the ability to stay airborne."

When Sai didn't protest further, Naruto continued.

"Moving on. Tenzo, Gaara, you're in charge of your teams. You have four hours to prepare. We meet at Ichiraku. You five are dismissed." Yamato, Hana, Sai, and Temari left. Gaara stepped forward.

"I will stay. I would hear the rest of your plan."

"Ok, but none-"

"As Kazekage and as your …friend, I am entitled to know what foolishness you have concocted."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Pulling rank and the friend card, huh. I'd almost say you're worried 'bout me."

"Just get on with it, dobe." This came from the back of the room, where Sasuke actually looked like he was paying attention.

"Alright. Jeez. The problem is that Kisame and Itachi are hardly apart. So we have to go at them both in a large group. Gai, you have experience fighting a Sharingan user, so focus on Itachi. And somehow I doubt that this will be a problem, but Sasuke, you should stay away from Kisame. He would know a lot of the Sharingan's weaknesses. Otherwise, we need to focus on taking down Kisame first. Attack him hard and fast, and don't let his sword touch you. Aside from his sword he attacks with standard Mist village water techniques, but he has a helluva lot of chakra. If Itachi's still standing after Kisame goes down, do what you can but make sure you avoid friendly fire as well." Here everyone looked at Sasuke. "_Don't_ under _any_ circumstances, look into Itachi's eyes. Use any means necessary-we can't afford to lose here."

"Does anyone have any questions?"

"Can we really pull this off? …I mean sure, we're all good ninjas, but what are the chances that we can actually beat these guys? They're S-class for a reason you know."

Reassurance came from an unexpected source.

"Che. Naruto's never been one to go by odds, Tenten. He is 'Konoha's number one ninja at surprising people' after all. If there's even half a chance of us winning, then Naruto will find it." Sasuke shoved off of the wall he'd been leaning against, and started to walk out. On his way out the door, he tossed back the words, "If any of you get in the way of my revenge, I'll kill you."

I didn't say he was good at reassurance.

Naruto stared at the door for a moment. "I was wondering how long it would take for the Angsty Avenger to show up. But I think he just added that so I wouldn't make fun of him for saying something nice about me for a change."

"Alright, Ichiraku Ramen bar at 6PM. If you're not there, I'll assume you're not coming. Dismissed."

'Half a chance, huh Sasuke?'

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**A/N:** I had lots of fun doing this chapter. I was hoping to get farther than this, but it seemed like a good place to stop. There will be fighting next chapter. If anyone seemed OOC, oh well. Chalk it up to personalities changing over huge timeskips. Any reviews would be cherished wholeheartedly for about 10min, and any helpful comments would be appreciated and considered.

**Edit:**For those not in the know, Tenzo fills in for Kakashi on the mission to meet Sasori's spy. He is more commonly known in the manga by his code name "Yamato" I figure that everyone would have gotten used to using his real name, despite most fans being used to him being refered to as Yamato. I apologize for any confusion.


	3. tpf ptIII: move out, Itachi's end

**A/N**: this one's a good deal longer than the last two chapters, and is for the most part serious. I've never actually written a fight scene before, and it apparently it puts me in a really dark mood, so bear with.

To my three (so far) reviewers: I'm glad you like it. 15 Black Roses, I know your lying when you say I'm your hero, because if everyone you said was your hero really was, you'd have 100 at least. Here's chapter 3.

**Disclaimer**: Mirror, mirror, o'er the sink. Do I own Naruto? What do you think? (…err. I'll let you guys know if I own it or not as soon as my reflection stops laughing at me)

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Even Half a Chance

Time 3:00PM

Location: Sai's apartment

Sai packed up his scrolls and ink and brushes, as well as some more practical, metal weaponry. He stroked the cover of the sketchbook of the two boys, and turned to find Sabaku no Gaara in his face. To his credit, this didn't seem to unnerve him at all.

"Hello. I suppose you're here for my briefing then."

"Are you prepared?"

"Of course, _Kazekage-sama_."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. That tone… was Sai mocking him? Irrelevant. There were things to be done.

"Then come with me."

Location: Memorial Stone

"Hey teme, is it just me, or did you pick up another life goal?"

Sasuke looked up from where the name _Haruno Sakura_ was etched into the stone. "… What are you talking about dobe?"

Naruto crossed his arms and nodded in mock thoughtfulness. "You show up late to meetings, and now you're brooding at the memorial stone." Here he pointed accusingly at Sasuke. "You have an aspiration to be just like Kakashi-sensei! It'll be like Gai and Lee all over!"

Sasuke looked mortified for a moment. Then his 'stoic Uchiha' genes kicked in and he recovered his bored look. "Hn. This is coming from the idiot who called an urgent meeting and then traipsed around Konoha for two hours. I thought it would be stupid to go on time when I knew that you would be busy running from Tsunade. I left when you both ran past my house the second time. …And I wouldn't be caught dead reading those books."

"Ha! Of course not! What kind of emotionless, genius ninja would you be if you got _caught_ reading _porn_?!"

"Shut up, moron."

"Make me, bastard!"

"…Do you have something _important _to say, or do you just enjoy bugging the hell out of me?"

"Both." A pause. "You know, you're not 'sposed to walk out of a meeting until I dismiss you."

Sasuke shrugged. "You were about to anyway." 'And then you would have told me to stay after, like some troublemaking kid.' He knew what Naruto wanted to talk about. "I didn't mean it. Itachi will be the only one to die by my hands."

It wasn't exactly what Naruto wanted to hear, but it would do. Sasuke would control himself.

"Ne, Sasuke. If we pull this off, but I don't make it back… do you want to be Hokage?"

Sasuke furrowed his brows. "Idiot. What kind of a question is that? You've already died once. You're not allowed to do it again."

Naruto laughed, but there was no mirth in it. "What we talked about in the office… was plan A. It should work, and I hope that it does, because plan B's not pretty."

"I see. I'm hardly the best person to lead Konoha." He looked into Naruto's eyes, and saw a clash of hope and despair. "But I know what Hokage means to you, and so I would try."

Location: remains of the Aburame complex

Inuzuka Hana brushed a few kikai insects from her arm. They kept landing on her, crawling over her skin and looking for the holes that Aburames have to accommodate their hives. Actually, it was rather curious that there should be any kikai still here. Those Aburame who had survived the attack on their complex a month ago had moved closer to the Hokage tower, and the kikai of the dead Aburame would have starved and died out without a chakra source. She continued on, her dogs padding alongside her. If she was going to find any clues about Zetsu of the Akatsuki, it would be here.

Something broke under Hana's foot. A piece of glass. She looked around to find where the shard had fallen from. A terrarium had been knocked from the table it had been on. A butterfly was perched on one of the plants that had spilt from the container, slowly flapping its wings as if unused to having them. It must have only recently emerged from its chrysalis. There was still hope.

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Time: 5:30PM

Location: Hokage tower

Naruto is sitting in his office looking out on Konoha. Aside from the obvious destruction caused by Deidara's explosives, it was hard to tell that over three quarters of Konoha was abandoned. The civilians had been evacuated at the first sign that the Akatsuki was coming. Roughly 60 of the shinobi had been lost as well. Most of what was left was the really good nins, and the really green ones. If he could just get rid of the Akatsuki now, there was still hope for recovery.

"_Do you have someone precious to you?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_When a person has someone precious to protect, that's when they can become truly strong."_

_----_

"_Iruka-sensei… Why do people risk their lives for others?"_

"_When a person dies, he disappears… As does his past, lifestyle, and his future. Many people die in missions and wars. They die easily and in surprisingly simple ways. Hayate was one of them. Those who die have goals and dreams. But everyone has something just as important. Parents, siblings, friends, lovers… people who are important to you. They trust and help each other. The bond between the people important to you ever since birth, and the string that binds them… becomes thicker and stronger as time goes by. Its beyond reason. Those bound to you by that string will do that. Because it's important."_

If he couldn't… that wasn't an option. He definitely would not let Konoha fall to those bastards.

"_You will become strong."_

'I hope I have.'

"Oi, Naruto."

Naruto turned his head to see the speaker: a blue-eyed blonde kunoichi in clothes that could have rivaled Mitirashi Anko's old outfit for 'most skin shown without actually being inappropriate'. Yamanaka Ino.

"Ino. Did you find them?"

"Did you think I couldn't? Honestly, a giant blue guy, with an even bigger sword, who practices by felling trees with said jumbo sword, and a blond guy who works with explosives, aren't that hard to find. Itachi was with Kisame, like you thought. They're camping out in the Forest of Death. Deidara is blowing things up outside the village to the west. Zetsu was harder. He seems to flit around a lot. He does gravitate toward the Nara's forest where we fought Hidan and Kakuzu. He could be looking for Hidan's remains, but mostly he's just eating Shikamaru's deer."

"Thanks Ino, that helps a lot. Anything else you can tell me?"

"Not really. Aside from the obvious, they didn't seem to be up to anything today. …Whatever you're doing, it had better be good Naruto."

Once, Naruto might have tried to deny that he was doing anything, but Ino worked primarily as an 'information gatherer' so that was a no go, and wouldn't help anything anyway. "Of course it's good Ino-chan! When was the last time I came up with something that was not good?"

She raised a brow at him in an 'Are you kidding?' look. "Well there was the five times that you challenged Tsunade-sama to a drinking contest, saying that if you won, she had to make you Hokage."

"And look whose office you're standing in."

"I know. I also know that you only won that 5th time because Tsunade-sama had to stop drinking so that she could save you from dying of alcohol poisoning. She was going to make you Hokage eventually. You didn't need to practically kill yourself over it. If there's nothing else, I need to get going. Be careful, whatever you're up to."

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Time: 5:59PM

Location: Ichiraku Ramen

The Ichiraku Ramen stand, once Naruto's favorite resturaunt, was now his base of covert operations. Teuchi had given Naruto the key to the back when he and Ayame had left to cook for the evacuees. It stood in No Man's land, the abandoned outer edge of Konoha. It is one minute before the mission officially begins. Naruto sits alone.

Time: 6:00PM

Ten more people were suddenly in the room. Ten people staring at him and looking for leadership. Pride, nervousness, and adrenaline shot through him.

"You all understand that on this mission, the percent chance of all of us coming back alive is practically zero? And knowing this, do you undertake it by your own choice?"

A unanimous "Hai." was his reply.

"Good. I had Ino scout the targets' locations for us. Gaara, yours is to the west. Tenzo, yours should be in the Nara's deer preserve. Check around where Shikamaru buried Hidan. If he's not there, wait for him to show up. He frequents it often. Everyone is to keep their headsets on, and no one makes a move until all four targets are found unless you are detected. Is that clear?"

"Hai."

"Move out."

5 seconds later, Ichiraku was empty, dark, and locked once more. 3 blurs speeding away from it in 3 directions.

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"Itachi-san."

Itachi glanced up from cleaning his weaponry. Zetsu's form leaned out from the tree he sat against. "They're coming, then?"

Zetsu looked back to where he had found the leaf nins. "**11 shinobi, split into groups of six, three, and a pair with a pack of dogs. The large group is heading for your target area, while the group of three moves toward the west. The dog-group's target is me."**

Actually, Zetsu said more than that, but Itachi didn't really care to listen to the pros and cons of torturing Inuzukas in revenge for Tobi. In fact, he was highly tempted to roll his eyes.

"Zetsu."

Zetsu's externalized internal debate ground to a halt as he looked back at Itachi.

"If they are coming, then you should return to your post."

Zetsu said nothing more, but melded back into the tree and disappeared.

Itachi put away his weapons and went to find Kisame. It was time to go.

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Something was going to go wrong, Naruto knew it. Everything felt off, from the moment he took off from Ichiraku.

Still, it hadn't prepared him for the fact that, when he and his team reached the entrance to the Forest of Death, Kisame and Itachi were standing in the clearing. Waiting for them. The chorus of, "Oh, shit!" that reached his ears from his comrades in person and over the headsets confirmed it.

Well at least they hadn't actually jumped out into the clearing yet.

Naruto stuck his arm out in a 'hold back' gesture.

Into the headset he asked, "Gaara? Tenzo? What's going on?"

"Well we found him, Zetsu was right where you said he would be, but he seemed to know we were coming and I don't see him anywhere now-Aw Damnit! Mokuton no jutsu!"

"Tenzo! Whats going on?!"

"We've engaged in combat with the enemy"

Naruto cursed. "Gaara, is your team alright?"

"Aa. We haven't found Deidara yet. Do we engage on sight then?"

"Yeah. It can't be helped." He dropped his arm and said, to everyone, "Do your best, guys."

"Alright. Here we go. Sasuke, Gai, take him down if you can, just keep him busy. Lee, Tenten, you're with me. Chouji, if you get an opening anywhere, take it." He grinned as he started forming a rasengan. "No regrets. It's too late to turn back now." He jumped away. The others followed suit.

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Kisame leaned Sameheda up on his shoulder. "Itachi-san, what are they thinking, sitting up in the trees like that? They waitin' for an invitation or something?"

Itachi glanced over at him. "They will come at us soon enough. They have no choice but to do so now."

Sure enough, it was only a few minutes more before several figures hurtled out of the trees.

A storm of kunai and shuriken crashed down between Kisame and Itachi, driving them away from each other.

Itachi, jumping away from the weapons, was immediately set upon by Maito Gai. A puff of smoke later, Gai had simply kicked a log. He looked down at the field from his new vantage point to see another green spandex-clad ninja, a kunoichi that he didn't know, and Uzumaki Naruto attacking Kisame. It was then that he noticed the chirping birds.

"Chidori!"

So, they had sent his little brother after him. He watched Sasuke come at him armed with the chidori and Sharingan, ready to grasp his arm and fling him away. Something was off about Sasuke's aim though. He seemed to be coming at his heart, but he was blurred, as if there were two slightly different images overtop of one another. Itachi changed his tactic at the last second, moving aside and opting to let Sasuke simply pass him. He was most surprised then, when the pain lanced up his arm anyway. Sasuke was now smirking at him, daring Itachi to ask how he did that. How could his eyes have been fooled? Ah, there was the answer-they hadn't been.

"Well, little brother, it would seem that you learned some interesting things in your time with Orochimaru. Sound-based genjutsu… laced within a ninjutsu no less. But now you've thrown away your secret in a warning strike. As foolish as ever, Sasuke. I thought that you wanted to kill me. But you still don't have enough hate." Itachi could barely move his right arm now, but Sasuke didn't have to know that.

Sasuke glared at him. "Hatred. Power. For years, I did as you said. 'run, cling to life and live pathetically' Where the fuck did that get me? I make my own path now, and you will die!" He lunged at Itachi again.

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Gaara grunted as his back hit a tree. Even with the sand to protect him, that explosion had enough force to knock him off his feet. They'd definitely found Deidara. Gaara glanced over to where he last saw the former Rock-nin. Deidara was currently occupied, fending off three large tigers made of ink. Gaara sent several tendrils of sand into the ground. He was definitely going to be needing more.

Deidara had already destroyed two of the tigers, being annoyingly coated in ink in the process. He jumped out of reach of the last one, only to hear a telltale rush of wind. He turned his head to see Temari of the Sand with her fan open, and a wall of slicing wind coming straight for him with bits of tree in tow. He jumped down to the ground, intending to jump back up and go after the kunoichi after the wind passed, but was prevented from doing so by the sand grasping at his feet. 'I should have known, yeah. Where one of these Sand nins is, the other is too. So then who's this other guy, hmm?' He reached into the pouch of clay at his side and molded it into a bird. Activating, the little sculpture grew larger than Deidara. It grasped him in its talons, dropping him onto a branch after pulling him from the sand's grip. Deidara then sent it after that black haired guy who'd set the cats on him. But if that guy was there, and the girl was off behind him somewhere, where was the third one hiding?

Sai, now hiding from the giant clay bird soaring over the trees looking for him, rushed to finish his drawing. Just a few more strokes… got it!

"Choujuu giga!" Ink lifted from the surface of Sai's scroll and took flight as a large bird, shooting off to meet Deidara's. After a short aerial dogfight, clay and ink rained down as Deidara's bird exploded, dispelling Sai's ink bird as well. Unfortunately, Sai didn't notice the spider crawling up his leg.

Deidara grinned smugly as he made a seal. "Katsu!" The spider exploded, obliterating Sai's leg. Sai cried out, and fell from his branch, but what hit the ground was a splash of black ink. An ink clone.

Gaara took the opportunity to send a flight of sand shuriken at Deidara. The blonde dodged, but failed to evade the wave of sand that shot from the ground at him, hurling him into a tree. The sand wrapped around his form, holding him prisoner in Sabaku no Gaara's famous 'Sand Coffin'. From outside the grainy cocoon, four nin's watched carefully as Gaara prepared to crush Deidara's body to bloody bits.

Gaara's sand swelled, before exploding violently in all directions. Temari was clear of the blast, being a long range fighter, and Gaara's sand shielded him from it, but Sai got the full brunt of it. He went flying, and neither Gaara nor Temari saw where he landed. Gaara's view was obstructed by his own shield, and Temari had something far more interesting in her sight. Deidara.

She went at him, aiming to swing her closed fan down on the man's head. He moved at the last second, barely moving his skull from the fan's path. Temari ended up striking him solidly across his chest and left shoulder. Years of experience and training hardened her to the sickening, dull smack as her fan struck his flesh, and the additional give that meant at least some of his ribs were broken. Fighting up close and personal was a lot different from waving a wind storm at someone. More visceral.

She kicked out at him as she pulled back her fan, but he jumped back to another tree, holding his left arm, and trying not to wince. She probably wouldn't be hitting him again anytime soon. He was good at dodging. "Che, fine then!" She bit her thumb and snapped open her fan, painting a line of blood on it.

"Kuchiyose: kiri kiri mai!" A white weasel riding a sickle poofed into existence and flew after Deidara. Deidara took off, jumping about erratically in an effort to ditch the summoning. As he dodged, he released the seal on the bird figurine flying just off to Temari's left. The explosion sent Temari, and a good bit of the tree she'd been standing on, flying. She landed on a cloud of floating sand, but it was too late to shield her from the wood shards lodged in her thigh and side. Her fan was useless as well. Most of the material gone, and the metal frame barely intact. She was lowered to the ground, and with her out, and Sai missing, Gaara took center stage.

Deidara seemed to be flooded with nostalgia at this turn of events. "Sabaku no Gaara. …hmm. Its been a while, yeah? You're luck with people hasn't gotten much better though, has it? All alone again. …yeah." With his right arm, he pulled out a black cloth and mopped the sweat from his face. He threw the rag to the ground at Gaara's feet, where for some reason it made a metallic clanking sound. "Even your pitiful siblings have left you to fight me alone, yeah? That woman over there… and that Sasori wanna-be…"

Gaara frowned, and picked up the black cloth from the ground. A hat with a metal plate attached, bearing the hourglass of Suna: Kankuro's kabuki hat. His frown deepened, and he looked up at the smug Deidara. "What did you do with Kankuro?"

Deidara's grin widened. "Well, I don't know what happened to him. Zetsu probably ate him, yeah? He's crazy like that. Kabuki-boy _was_ a little torn apart when I left him. He might have missed a few pieces though, so there might be something to bury if you look real hard. Hm.

Gaara's expression could now be classified as a S-Class death glare. 'I cannot allow myself to become emotional. This changes nothing. If it is the truth, or even if he is lying and Kankuro is alive, the only option is to kill him. Naruto is counting on me to do this for him.' He took in his opponent's condition. 'Temari injured him, more severely than he would like me to know. He can't use his left arm well, and his stance is off, probably from grasping his leg with the sand. He must have used up most of his clay by now, as well. I must be cautious. He will try to end this quickly now, and I am running out of chakra. …So be it. I failed my own country, my precious comrades, but I can end this before Naruto meets the same fate.'

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Hana and Tenzo's fight with Zetsu had devolved into a glorified game of 'whack-a-mole'. Zetsu had decided that it was a far better tactic to avoid damage and let his attackers tire themselves out than to actually come out and fight. After all, he was not a combat type shinobi, his skills gravitating toward observation and intelligence gathering. He was taunting his opponents by melding in and out of trees while Hana wasted chakra tearing up the poor trees with the 'piercing fang' technique, and Tenzo tried vainly to hit him with his flowing wooden pillars.

It was time to finish this mockery of a fight. Zetsu appeared behind the wood user, kunai in hand. Tenzo grunted as he was stabbed in the back, but looked back and grinned at the yellow eyed akatsuki member. The flesh around the kunai in his back reached out to grip Zetsu's arm as his features lost their color and became wooden. Being the genetic clone of the Shodai Hokage did have its merits. For example: wood clones, which could hold their form even after being discovered, and growing to whatever shape Tenzo willed. Now he just had to hold the psycho in place while Hana attacked.

Both of Zetsu's personalities cursed. Tenzo's chakra in the wood prevented him from pulling his arm free. He was very stuck, and that woman with the dogs was rapidly finishing the preparations for a jutsu.

Hana had thrown several small pills at her canine team and taken one herself before beginning a string of seals. A large cloud of smoke sprang up, and where once stood an Inuzuka pack, stood two monstrous gray wolves, each bearing two heads, and snarling and growling like demons. Four massive heads turned to look at Zetsu, and the right head of the nearer wolf gave a short, commanding bark. Then they leapt.

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Itachi was panting. That's how much he had needed to put into this fight. Maito Gai had been dealt with, lying unconscious or dead somewhere in the forest. The obstacle at hand was the only other living Uchiha. Sasuke was panting as well. Both had wounds, though none that were life threatening. Itachi had discarded his cloak after the torn fabric became an annoying hindrance, and Sasuke had lost his sword some time ago.

The brothers stood facing one another on the forest floor, near mirror images of each other. Dark hair, Sharingan blazing, pale skin blemished with bruises and rivulets of blood. The last of the Uchiha.

Itachi had known, that one day, Sasuke would surpass him. That it needed to happen. But he had never reconciled that knowledge with the picture of his naïve, foolish little brother. The seven year old who clung blindly to his every word and craved even a drop of their father's affection; the twelve year old 'avenger' who attacked him blindly in a hotel and ran to Orochimaru for power that he didn't believe he had… This Sasuke… was nothing like them. He was calm, and efficient. He refused to let his anger control him, as he always had in the past. And he had obtained the greatest power of the Uchiha birthright, the Mangekyo Sharingan. Itachi could only wonder how, as Naruto was fighting his partner not 50 meters away. It didn't matter. Sasuke had become a worthy opponent, and a true heir of the Sharingan, and their final battle was at hand.

Both figures blurred from existence, appearing again in a flurry of taijutsu. They were closely matched. Itachi had more experience, having lived as a mercenary S-class nin for 19 years; but Sasuke had superior eyesight, and constantly training with Konoha's number one nin at surprising people had taught him a few things.

Itachi finally landed a kick on Sasuke, who went flying into the foliage, temporarily out of sight. Itachi waited patiently for him to jump back towards him – there was no point in rushing after him, he was hardly likely to stay away. Predictably, Sasuke came at him, kunai drawn. No, it was simply a kage bunshin of his brother. Petty tricks. Itachi threw a kunai at it; it exploded into smoke. Scarcely had it dissipated before another jumped out at him. Surely Sasuke realized this was futile; with the Sharingan, one could easily tell a clone from the original. He must be trying to buy himself time.

Itachi picked up another kunai to stab it; it was to close for a throw, and he did have a limited supply. Itachi pierced the bunshin's shoulder, and felt the flesh give way, expecting his brother's form to disappear and leave his weapon bloodless. It didn't. Unfortunately, Itachi had no more time to contemplate the undying bunshin, because its kunai was in his chest, and it had him pinned firmly to a tree.

The bunshin spoke. "It is a simple matter for one who knows what a kage bunshin looks like to a Sharingan to mimic that kind of chakra flow. I'm real, brother. Chidori nagashi!" Electricity flowed from Sasuke's arms and into his older brother's body, and when the light and noise had died away, Sasuke was left staring at his brother's lifeless, electrocuted form.

Sasuke lit his brother's body on fire with the first fire technique that all Uchiha master. Sasuke, genius ninja, jounin of Konoha, and best friend of the sixth hokage turned from the flames and began walking toward the sound of violence, intent on helping Naruto.

He made it 20 meters before he collapsed from exhaustion.

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A/N-Kisame's fights up next, and the ends of Deidara's and Zetsu's will be revealed. This one was longer than I usually write, but I was having trouble cutting it off, so there you go. Reviews make my soul happy, and any advice or comments would be much appreciated, so you should definitely review. 


	4. pf pt IV Hana roars and Zetsu bites it

**Disclaimer**: My mirror never did stop laughing at me. I had to make it shut up somehow, so I broke it. I still don't own Naruto, and I'm now at the beginning of a 7 yr run of bad luck.

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Even Half a Chance

Chapter IV

It had been years since Kisame had had this much fun. He stood on a small lake of his own making, surrounded by talented enemies.

Uzumaki Naruto had always proven to be an interesting opponent, and his little helpers added a bit more challenge to the game.

The kunoichi, Tenten if he had heard correctly, was skilled with a vast array of weapons, and was actually pretty good for a female. Maybe he wouldn't kill her. She wasn't exactly hard on the eyes. She was Leaf though, and leaf-nins had a reputation for loyalty and determination 'til death. She probably wasn't worth the effort. Pity.

The spiky-haired fatass was a powerhouse to be sure, but he'd run down pretty fast; his style obviously wasn't meant for drawn out battles. Still, it wouldn't be a good idea to forget about him. The wide but rather shallow gashes across Kisame's back attested to that.

Then there was that green freak. Kisame remembered Maito Gai. This Lee person was like a newer model of Gai, complete with more Fiery Youth or some such. Honestly, Kisame hadn't really listened to the moron's spiel.

Oh look, the Narutos are charging again.

Ten Narutos, some bearing Rasengans and others just kunai, stormed across the water at the Monster of the Mist. Kisame watched them come with a smug grin, and counter struck. Dodge, slice through a neck, kick in the gut, cleave one in two, dodge a rasengan and watch that one decimate the one that was coming at him from behind, slice across those two with Samehada, Oh Damn! His feet!

Underwater, Naruto had a hold on Kisame's feet and was trying to drag him down, despite the chakra manipulation keeping him on the surface. Kisame chose to ignore this pest until he took care of the other four(taking care of here meaning slaughtering brutally) and he was quite surprised when he felt a hard yank and lost his footing.

Looking down he saw that Naruto had affixed something to each of his legs, and whatever they were, they were fucking heavy. Lee would have recognized them as the weights that he had cast off rather early in the fight, but Lee was not in Kisame's head to impart him with this knowledge, so they remained 'fucking heavy things strapped onto his legs.' Aside from his apparent nominative issues, the fucking heavy things strapped to his legs were now attempting to the haul him to the bottom of his own lake.

The konoha nins were now being treated to watching Kisame cling to the water's surface with his arms and trying to resist the weight on his legs, while still holding his sword and trying to look properly threatening. Kisame raised one arm from the water and hurled Sameheda at the young Hokage before disappearing under the water. He sank several meters before he managed to remove the weights from his legs, and upon striking out for the surface again, he heard several splashes. What the hell were those? They were kind of round, and definitely spiky, but not near dangerous especially underwater. Their descent was slow and none of them were very close to him. Easily dodged. Then he saw the special exploding tags attached to them.

Some would be interested to know that even Kisame can't curse properly underwater. Most others would just try to figure out what he was trying to say.

The four leaf-nins present stared uneasily at the water. There had been light and muffled explosions and a hell of a lot of splashing water, but Kisame was still eluding their sight. Chouji ventured to voice what everyone was thinking.

"Sooo… Did we get him?"

Lee barely noticed in time the gray form cutting a path through the water like a fin.

"Behind us! Everyone, move!"

Samehada cutting through the water provided a good distraction for Kisame to get right in the midst of the leaf nins. A civilian watching would only have seen the blue man appear in the middle of the group and the others consequently rocketing away from him-not under their own power. Lee recovered first, getting in close so Kisame couldn't swing at him.

"You idiots always forget… my Samehada,"here he pressed the flat of his sword to Lee's back and jerked it upwards, "_shaves!_" Spikes jutted out from under the cloth wrapping and tore away the flesh of Lee's back.

Naruto had formed a Fuuton: Rasengan and hurtled toward Kisame, who dropped Lee and jumped away.

"You guys get Lee out of here! I can take this wrinkly old bastard all by myself!"

Kisame's eye was twitching, "Don't underestimate me you stupid brat!"

Tenten and Chouji, supporting Lee, still hadn't moved. Naruto was rather unhappy about this.

"Go! Lee needs help _now_!"

They took off. Naruto grinned at Kisame.

"It's you and me, old man!"

"Heh."

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Inuzuka Hana couldn't think of anything as disgusting as what had just happened, and she was a veterinarian. Actually, it wasn't so much what had happened, as the fact that she was covered in slime. And it stunk. It wasn't a 'What the hell _is_ that,' watering eyes, kind of stink either. The dog that had been transformed with her had already passed out from it. As if that wasn't enough, it itched too. The other two canines were rolling around on the ground and snuffling; trying to get the awful stuff off them.

Zetsu apparently had a good defense mechanism.

When he saw Hana coming, he had drawn the plant-like appendages close, to shield himself from the impact. Hana tore into him. The waxy plant popped like a pus filled cist, but at this point, Hana thought she would prefer the pus. This was ten times worse at least. Both sets of the Combi-Henge wolves were dispelled from the sensory shock of the foul stuff.

Five minutes later found Hana leaning against a tree, trying not to vomit again. Or scratch. She hissed. The sap had gotten into some of her cuts and it _burned_. She threw up again. When she was done heaving, she noticed a deer on the forest floor, its hind legs broken and pinned beneath a wooden pillar. She jumped down, signaling to her dogs. It might not help the itch much, but fresh blood would certainly take care of the god-awful smell.

Tenzo had jumped back into the fray, preventing Zetsu from attacking Hana while she was incapacitated. He and a wood clone were trying to make the bastard stand still long enough to run him through, but weren't having much luck. Zetsu was pretty quick on his feet, despite the shredded lettuce look he was sporting. Half of his ..errr plant-thing? had been torn away, and the signature akatsuki cloak had been discarded.

"Tsuuga!"

The whirling dervish of Inuzuka slammed directly into Zetsu's exposed side. Hana came to a stop, panting heavily. A kunai dropped from her grasp as she turned back to survey the damage.

Tenzo had been the top ANBU captain under both the third and fifth Hokages and he had seen a lot. Of all the things that he would never be able to forget though, the sight of the feral Inuzuka Hana ranked pretty highly. She still bore the features of the shikakyu technique, giving a wild cast to her face. Her hair was loose and from the blood, it looked like she'd stuck her face in some creature's innards after clawing it open bare-handed. Tenzo caught himself, following Hana's gaze to Zetsu.

The strange nin was still standing, despite the gaping hole in his side and the blood-sap pouring from him. One of the kunai Hana had used to tear at him was still lodged in his chest. Aside from the staning though, he wasn't doing...anything. Zetsu was dead on his feet.

"I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone die like that."

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Shikamaru lay, staring at the back of his eyelids. Damn that Naruto, he was so _troublesome_, taking everyone out in a last ditch attack while he was confined to a hospital bed. Not that he minded being out of danger of course, but a lot of his oldest friends were out there. How was he supposed to help get his teammates home safe, while lying on his back covered in bandages?

He sighed. He would just have to hope that they completed their objective, and that most of them would make it back. Naruto would yell at him for being pessimistic if he knew what Shikamaru was thinking, but there was just no way that they could go against four S-rank nins and all come back alive.

There was nothing for it. He'd just have to wait. There were no clouds outside, and most movement hurt. He wasn't so stubborn as to force himself to move enough to leave, so he had no choice but to lay in the bed, and worry.

Naruto and his group were relatively well off, Two taijutsu experts (one specifically trained against the Sharingan), Tenten-who mastered weapons most people hadn't even heard of, Chouji-a powerhouse to rival Lee even if he wasn't very fast, Sasuke-a genius and wielder of the Sharingan, and Naruto… who pretty much defied classification. The only serious issue would be if their targets split up; the team would have to divide as well, and the specialized talents would lose some of their safety net. The hardest part would be bringing Kisame down. All of the data indicated that Kisame was going to be the difficult kill. Of all four of them. Itachi, while an excellent nin, had a power that was self destructive, and he had been corroding his own eyesight for years. Zetsu was, by all observations, highly specialized in espionage and stealth. He probably wouldn't put up much fight once he was caught. Deidara was about as volatile as his damn explosives. He was intelligent, calculating even, but hot-blooded. He had a suicide technique (If he was going down, everyone else was too. Yeah.) and if what Shikamaru had heard was correct… oh hell.

The movement that Shikamaru made upon realizing his oversight could have been described as sitting up quickly, wincing and doubling up in pain, realizing that was a bad idea, and falling to the side and out of the bed, ripping out several tubes in the process. Or just falling out of bed violently. He lay for a moment before crawling toward a chair to help him stand up. He was kneeling by a chair when the medic ran in.

"Nara-san! Hold still, you'll hurt yourself again! I'll have someone come and put you back in bed-"

"No. I have to…" His eyes trained on the unfamiliar medic nin. "Where's Hinata"

The medic, visibly glad that Shikamaru had stopped straining his injuries, answered, "She's busy with other patients at the moment sir. Is there something I can do for you?" A grunt and a slight head shake served as the woman's answer. No. She sighed. Wounded ninjas could be so aggravating. "Well, just let me get you back into bed, and Hinata-san will be around later."

This was obviously not good enough, because this time the bandaged man actually said no and began pulling himself up with help from the chair.

The poor woman started panicking. "Please Nara-san. I'll go get her, just please stop. You're in no condition to try walking around."

Shikamaru agreed by turning and plopping down into the chair. He knew he wouldn't have made it out of the room under his own power. Thankfully, the medic nin hadn't just let him try it and gotten someone to bring him back to the bed when he fell. She must have been new. Most medic nins had a no tolerance policy towards 'that stoic ninja crap'.

"Now. It's important."

Hinata stuck her head in ten minutes later.

"W-what is the matter, Shikamaru-kun?"

Ten minutes had almost been enough to fall asleep in the chair. He came back fast enough though.

"Do you remember the jutsu that the Akatsuki use to make clones of themselves? The shapeshifting technique?"

"Yes." Like she could forget watching that person melt into the form of a young chuunin from Kumo.

"We need to make sure that none of them are using that. We know that it has a time limit, so they can't use it long term. Meaning that they are all actually here. However, they may use it to take their place to fight the squads that Naruto sent out. If they are using it though, it weakens their actual selves to run it, so it should be easier to take them out. I need you and Hanabi to take out teams to look for any Akatsuki that aren't fighting. Take whoever you want, but aim for combat abilities."

Hinata absorbed all of this silently, then muttered a 'hai' and took off.

Shikamaru sighed. Now he was going to have to wait for someone to put him back in the bed.

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Gaara was very close to being pissed off. At this point it was questionable as to whether Deidara knew _how_ to die. Gaara had thrown the blonde into trees, crushed him, and tried to rend him limb from limb. Each assault was met with replacement or clones, and always with explosions. It was relatively frustrating.

Deidara chuckled. This was a pretty amusing pastime, messing with Sabaku no Gaara. There was no poetry or real art to it, but it was fun. Gaara was so… focused. Even when he had picked up his brother's hat, his face had barely moved. It had been a good face though, shocked, with a bit of anger showing through. Deidara would have to recreate it on someone. It seemed like a face Itachi would make, maybe when laying injured on the ground looking up at Deidara holding all the power. Hm, that would be fun.

Another wave of Sand crashed towards him. He dodged, waving and sticking out his tongues, and a moment later, his hand was missing. Then his brain caught up and he remembered how much having parts of his arm come off hurt like hell.

"You're really annoying, you know that?"

Well that answered the question of how his hand had been 'removed'

Temari was - for now – back in business. She stood before Deidara clutching a couple of spokes from her fan. Apparently they were sharp. One was bloody.

"Seriously though, sticking your tongue out? How old are you, five?"

Deidara realized that in his pain induced haze, he hadn't even said anything yet.

"What's it to you bitch? Are you jealous that your little brother's getting all the attention?"

"You fu-" She was cut off by Gaara calling her name. It was conditioned into her that when her little brother, the Kazekage, spoke; you should shut the hell up so you could hear him the first time.

She looked back to see what Gaara wanted. Oh. Getting out of the way might be a good idea. She jumped down, landing rather badly due to her injuries.

Another wave of sand crashed into Deidara, this one forcing him into the ground. He didn't morph into a log or pile of clay, but screamed at the pressure on his already injured body. A good sign. Gaara allowed himself a smirk. Moments later though, there was a muffled boom halfway between Gaara and Deidara, and the sand pinning the former iwa nin to the ground fell lifelessly.

Deidara got up, leading Gaara on another merry chase before hiding himself away to think.

He needed more time.

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Sai was rather confused. He had been thrown a good distance by that explosion, and he was thinking that maybe he had hit his head. Because when all of his senses came back (meaning that the lighting went back to normal and he could hear again) there was an odd man standing over him. He felt like he should know this man. Did he have amnesia? He couldn't think of any memory gaps, but then, if you'd forgotten something you wouldn't really remember knowing it to know you'd forgotten it. Right?

He'd gotten up to go find his teammates, but the man had stepped in front of him and said, "Come with me."

"Ah, look. I'm supposed to be-"

"You're assignment was to locate and assassinate Deidara of the Akatsuki, along with Gaara and Temari of the Sand."

"…Yes."

"Then come with me."

The man struck Sai as being rather odd, if not creepy, and there may or may not have been a buzzing noise surrounding them. It may have just been Sai's ears ringing. At any rate, Sai had been told that he wasn't in any position to tell who was odd, so he'd just observe and deal with whatever came next.

He wasn't expecting to find Deidara meditating in the middle of training ground thirty.

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**A/N **I'm really sorry for making you all wait this long. In fact, I'm still rather unimpressed with this chapter. I have found, though, that people reviewing my story out of the blue months after I updated is very inspiring. I wrote more everytime it happened, which was unfortunately only twice. I could give you a wonderful laundry list of reasons it took me so long to get this up, but mostly I was being lazy. And undergoing plot revision. Tell me what you think. 


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